Sometimes Broken Shit Has Its Way Of Finding You

"McMike" (mcmike) 05/12/2015 at 14:29 • Filed to: Driveway mechainic

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Sometimes it’s broken, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes, it’s just simple operator issue.

Here are a few of my WTF moments from May 2015

What kind of WTF moments have you run into while NOT looking for something to fix?

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Last weekend while in the driveway, I heard a godawful sound coming down the street that sounded like someone was driving on a flat. My ears pop up, I stand up on my toes like a meerkat, and notice my neighbor’s daughter driving down the street.

I thought she was driving on her first flat tire, and probably drove all the way home on it. She was about to learn an expensive lesson about tires/punctures.

Nope. All four tires had air in them. As I watched her pull the car into their driveway I noticed that the right rear was locking up every 360 degrees or so as she came to a stop. I walked across the street to have a look.

As I took the tire off I couldn’t believe my eyes. There were no right rear caliper mounting bolts. None. Not one, not two.... they were both missing. Every time she hit the brake, the caliper would grab the rotor, rotate forward into the upright, and then pinch the rotor.

I’m guessing the top bolt had been missing for a while, and the bottom bolt just came out sometime before she hit the brakes to come down the street.

They just had some brake work done the week before, so I’m blaming the mechanic for only starting the threads on those fasteners, and sending the customer out the door to their fiery death.

We ran to the store, bought some adequate bolts to get her back on the road while I ordered the proper fasteners (below).

She was pretty lucky that last bolt stayed put until the came around the corner.

I also just sent the mom a text, explaining that if the insurance company happens to notice all the extreme braking/acceleration events in their daughter’s safe-driving OBDII statement, that it was me.

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Out for Mother’s day, my brother-in-law and his brother went outside to look at bother’s SUV. 10 minutes later, they came and got me and wanted me opinion on something... As I got out there, they had the tailgate open, and were trying to figure out how to get the full sized spare out of the cargo area and under the car where it was supposed to go.

Naturally, I replied: “Pull out the owners’ manual and let’s take a look”

They said: “That’s why we got you.....”

I said: “Let’s get it out anyways, so we don’t do anything wrong”

All they needed to do was get the jack hardware and lower the cable, put the tire on and winch it up. Brother was relived, since his wife told him she was having a hard time getting the stroller in and out of the back with the tire in the way. They are new parents, and (from his relief) it sounds like she had been asking him about it for quite a while.

I asked him how long it had been back there, and he said, “Since my last flat”.

Which was 9 years ago.

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I get home the other night, and I’m talking to my neighbor from deck to deck asking him how his weekend trip was, explaining why my !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! etc... During our conversation, his wife pops out and said, “Hey, can we borrow your battery charger again?” (for her car they left at home)

Worried about why it was dead this time (they had some parasitic drain we fixed last year) I asked what happened. She said, “As we were pulling out the driveway Friday night for the weekend, I noticed my windows were down and didn’t want to leave the windows open while we were away. I left they key on all weekend.”

That’s right. Keys in ignition. Ignition on. Sitting in the driveway. All weekend.

And people wonder why I don’t have time to powerwash my own house.

505Turbeaux > McMike 05/12/2015 at 14:33

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welcome to my life. Half of the calls I get are of this level of WTF

With-a-G is back to not having anything written after his username > McMike 05/12/2015 at 14:36

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Dear McMike,

My hairline is broken. Can you help?

-LH

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > McMike 05/12/2015 at 14:41

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I’m waiting for this to start in my new neighborhood, I will welcome it.

I’m kind of surprised it hasn’t happened yet. I’ve always got a hood up or a car on ramps for this or that.

McMike > 505Turbeaux 05/12/2015 at 14:42

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There’s a joke on my street. “If you need mike’s help, open your hood and wait.”

They call it the mike-signal.

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > With-a-G is back to not having anything written after his username 05/12/2015 at 14:42

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#blessed

lonestranger > McMike 05/12/2015 at 14:45

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I’m talking to my neighbor from dick to dick

505Turbeaux > McMike 05/12/2015 at 14:45

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haha like the bat signal for car work. I get the same thing man

McMike > lonestranger 05/12/2015 at 14:47

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That’s funny. I almost left it.

random001 > McMike 05/12/2015 at 14:50

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Where do you live? It sounds like some kind of twilight zone or Bermuda triangle for car stuff...

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > McMike 05/12/2015 at 14:50

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Oh, on this one. I actually had Belle Tire call me into the bay because the tech couldn’t figure out how to lower the spare tire on my 04 S10 Blazer.

Tire iron into obvious plug on back of truck next to license plate. turn. hahahaha

McMike > 505Turbeaux 05/12/2015 at 14:51

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McMike > random001 05/12/2015 at 14:57

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This kind of stuff happens from time to time. I just caught three of them in a month.

I forgot about the guy three doors down who tried to take put on a 8mm water pump bolt with an impact gun and came to see if I can had any EZouts.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > McMike 05/12/2015 at 14:59

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That is a pretty awesome/annoying neighborhood reputation to have.

McMike > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 05/12/2015 at 15:04

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Wouldn’t trade it for the world, they are awesome people.

If I don’t feel like getting my hands dirty, I’ll tell them what’s wrong (or what I think the issue is) and send them to their mechanic.

Jcarr > McMike 05/12/2015 at 15:06

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Was it a 2000s GM product? I have a reminder set on my phone to winch the spare down and pull it back up every month on my 2004 Envoy.

The secondary latch system GM designed for the GMT360s (and probably other SUVs/trucks of the era) is a piece of crap that will corrode at the drop of a hat and freeze in the deployed position, making it impossible to lower the spare without completely unbolting the winch assembly.

I have the good habit of checking the pressure in my spares regularly so luckily I noticed this problem in my garage on a nice dry, warm day. After getting the winch and spare off I unstuck and cleaned up the secondary latch mechanism and slathered it with axle grease. Now I just make sure to exercise it once a month and apply new grease once a year or so.

Freakin’ GM.

Jcarr > McMike 05/12/2015 at 15:08

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I thought it was some kind of weird expression I’d never heard before.

McMike > McMike 05/12/2015 at 15:11

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More cable-hoist spare stories...

The deck-to-deck guy I was talking to shouted across the yard from his driveway once and said. “Is my SUV supposed to have a spare?” as he was looking under the rear bumper.

I walked over, took a look and saw a frayed cable an NO TIRE. He bought the truck new.

I asked him when he remembers seeing the spare last. He doesn’t think he has ever used it.

That must have been one miracle bounce that tire took when it fell from the truck. I can’t believe it didn’t hit anything on the way out.

McMike > Jcarr 05/12/2015 at 15:12

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Yeah, it was a Jimmy or similar.

CKeffer > McMike 05/12/2015 at 15:21

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With as often as I’m in my garage working on the Miata, I’m just waiting for the day this stuff happens to me.

CammedCTSV > McMike 05/12/2015 at 16:16

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‘Twas 2003 and I was in college. Heading west on University Blvd in Orlando, attempting to reach the 417 beltway in my 1980 C3 Corvette. After passing the Wendy’s at Rouse road, the spare tire assembly decided to GFTO and fell from the rear frame rails. Sparks and burning fiberglass emerged from under the car, as I jumped up onto the median. My dry rotted, flat, smoking Goodyear (225/70/15) went rolling past me, and continued onwards. As I surveyed the damage, I collected the remnants, placed them in the median, and left before the cops arrived.

My car lost ~60 lbs that night, and for a 150 hp slug, it was like adding nitrous. I was happy.

Destructive Tester > Jcarr 05/12/2015 at 16:46

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I need to start doing this, granted its not a GM truck but it seems like really good practice for winch spares. Thanks!

Destructive Tester > McMike 05/12/2015 at 16:48

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I have much the same reputation, only instead of cars its for lawn/garden equipment... It seems like every spring I'm cleaning gummed-up carbs or replacing spark plugs on at least a couple of lawn mowers or tillers. The upside is all the fresh veggies from neighbor's gardens as payment for the work.